How Are You 4?!

How are you 4?! For every tear I cry over how quickly time passes us by, there's a happy tear right behind it for the excitement I feel for the next day & the upcoming years... How many memories we'll make & how I know every day from here on out has purpose bc you're in it! Your mommy & daddy are so proud of the kind, smart, confident, beautiful little ladies you are.  

Just a few ways you're growing up as we've hit FOUR:

• Dressing yourselves completely - Kara Rose, you often say to me, "Mommy, please leave the room while we change, so we can introduce ourselves when we're all ready." (You slowly walk out like a princess or tip-toe out like a ballerina and we "Ooooo" and "Aaaahhhh" over the very creative nicely put right? choices you've made)
• Cleaning up your room - Zoe, you specifically love to make your room look like 'artwork' rearranging your toys & animals every night before bed so it looks just right... You actually consider it punishment if we tell you it's too late to do your room.
• Letting the dog in & out and help feed him.
• Getting your own silverware out of the drawer - again, Zo, you love to set the table for everyone & make it look pretty (seeing a pattern)?
• Basically don't want me to help you do anything, washing you in the bath (insert the Scrubba Dubba Dance), brushing your teeth (although I must), picking out any part of your outfit at any point (pjs, play clothes, church & school clothes) 

Current favorites: Color purple, all fruit, animals, playing soccer, break-dancing, reading, mommy cuddles, watching TV/movies, telling your sister what to do.

Kara Rose: Your kind, nurturing heart - you love to make sure everyone is cared for & cry if you think you hurt someone's feelings or accidentally hurt your sister. However, you're so smart that you also love to correct people (even adults) and you take the leadership role in every scenario, but you're already the kind of leader I want to be because every time someone needs to step up & be the bigger person, it's always you. You already have incredible work ethic & are extremely tenacious. You tell me you love me SO MOOOUUCH every chance you get and promise no matter how grown up you get, you'll always be my angel. I pray you always remember that taking the high road & being kind is the best way to live life, even though it's a tough path, my sensitive one. 

Current favorites: Color pink, taking pictures, flowers & butterflies, ballet, drawing, taking care of baby dolls, your sister.

Zoe: You're so wild & rough, yet you want to know just the right way to hold and care for your baby dolls. You're so hard on yourself & get mad if you don't get something right the first time. You hold my face in your hands and tell me I'm beautiful. Every night in bed, you whisper secrets in my ear and usually you say "I will always love you." or "You are God's little princess." You live life with abandon, my nature-loving, free-spirit - I pray that you hold onto every ounce of it. 

Most of all, you're truly best friends and love each other and everyone around you.  I think you've got the "Love God & love your neighbor" thing down - don't lose it, it's a tough world out there. You both already know that God loves you & Jesus is your best friend - that's all you need to remember... and that Mommy loves you bigger than the whole world.

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Two Turning Two - What I Want You to Know

Your second year of life has been incredible to witness.  Rather than a year of milestones, it's been a year of firsts. I've been able to take a step back and watch you take on life, form an opinion and see your imagination grow. Our bond has begun to bloom into a friendship. Every night my prayer is of complete gratitude for every moment we share and every memory we make together and humbly asking for many MANY more years of them.

The ways I love you, amount of love I have for you and what you bring to my life are infinite.  There are so many things I want to teach you as you get older, yet there are a few things I just want you to know now...

• I'm so glad you happened to me.

• You are my favorite work of art.  God is a masterful artist and you are His masterpiece.
• "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."

• Each day brings many moments that make me utterly grateful to have daughters.
• Kara Rose, every night you stand on your stool and I brush your beautiful long hair is an intimate moment for me...
• Every 'Manicure Monday' when you excitedly run to my nail polish drawer and pick out just the right color for me to paint your tiny toenails - I cherish these moments that can only happen bc I have daughters.

• I hope you always look at yourself the way you do now, grinning from ear to ear the moment you see your reflection, knowing that's the reflection of the perfect miracle you are.
• "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full and well." Pslam 139:14

• I hope you always find joy in the little things like you do now.
• Zoe Drew, the way you look up at the moon in amazement, think you see Tinkerbell in the stars and don't pass by a flower without noticing, takes my breath away. Thank you for reminding me to revel in God's creation.

• I love witnessing you so confidently being you and not trying to be like your sister or anything other than who you are.

• You are so incredibly blessed to have a twin sister who can walk through life right by your side! 
• "Two are better than one... if either of them falls down, one can help the other up" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

• I've got sunshine on a cloudy day... What can make me feel this way? My girls!

A little look at a few of the firsts you experienced this year:

The day you took your first steps - one week apart!

You're first 5K

First time you picked out your own shoes. This is that opinion I was talking about - I love it!

First day facing forward in your car seats - you were amazed!

First boat ride - You weren't so sure at first, but "fast boat" became the topic of conversation for quite some time afterward

Your first firework show - Kara Rose, you weren't too sure about this & no one could make you feel safe like Daddy

First trip to Legoland - Do you see how silly you are?!

Zoe's first selfie - haha!
You love having your picture taken and taking pictures of others, always telling everyone, 'Say cheese!'

First time berry picking

First Braves game

First experience body surfing - For weeks after, you'd both say, 'Surf ocean!'

First day of preschool - I'm sure I cried more than you did. Just look at you - you're growing up so fast!!

First mani/pedis at the salon. 

Kara Rose, you loved every moment and held your little feet and hands out so perfectly still!

Zoe, you loved having pretty nails, just not sitting still to have it done! 

Aaaand, I just want you to see how much you love your sister at this moment - you girls care for each other more than I would've imagined any 2 year old is capable of. 

I love you bigger than the whole world!

~ Your Mommy

Happy MOM's Day!

The definition of Mom: The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself and the one who you can always count on above everyone else. 

... Just telling her your problems makes you feel better because mom's always know how to make it all go away.
Even if you fight, know that she's just looking out for your best interests.
"Where would you be without your mom?"

-Urban Dictionary

... a bit of a contrast to the definition of Mother: a woman in relation to a child or children she has given birth to - don't cha think?

Now, I struggle with 'mommy guilt' on the reg... I think most of us do - right?  I honestly thought the moment I became a mom, I would instantly never say another curse word & be the definition of love, kindness and patience, but I make mistakes constantly & question if I'm doing everything right.  This is rather exhausting to me because I've left my corporate job, that I worked very hard for, to devote my life to my family.  I put them first & myself last - I cut no corners when it comes to the girls' development & nutrition and try my damnedest when it comes to their character and spiritual development by being a fantastic mom, but all too often, my saboteurs tell me it still wasn't good enough.  This isn't for a raise or even a pat on the back... Come on - no one's here to see it! It's because I want my girls to look at me like I look at my mom, who stayed after work to clean the office for years to pay for my dance lessons (which actually took me pretty far in life, getting me college scholarships & taught me more about self discipline and hard work than anything else), who taught me by example that you create your own opportunities and the list goes on... so thank you Mom.

• Thank you for not letting me quit or give up on anything... ever.
• Thank you for not rescuing me in some of my hardest times but standing by my side instead, even though I know you wanted to... so bad.
• Thank you for seeing more in me than I ever saw/see in myself.
• Thank you for your amazing banana bread and chocolate gravy (it's ok to be jealous)
• Thank you for all those Girl Nights of at-home mani/pedis, movie marathons and eating condensed milk straight out of the can or cake batter (again, it's ok to be jealous - don't judge us).
• Most of all, thank you for being my friend... my best friend.
• Oh wait!!... Most of all (x2), thank you, from both me and the KRaZe, for showing me what it takes be a great mom!

Also, thanks for willingly embarrassing yourself for my amusement! :)

All this said, I'm no longer trying to be a perfect mom.  Someone very special to me recently told me, "You don't want them to look at you as perfect... they need to see you tired and resting in God.  They need to see you sinful and repenting.  They need to watch you fail and fall apart sometimes so that you can model for them how Jesus lifts you and strengthens you and meets your needs." - Wow!

Kara Rose and Zoe,
I thank God every day for choosing me to be your mommy.  Being your mommy means I get to have a front row seat to your awesomeness, kiss your boo-boos, do Ring Around the Rosie 20 times a day, cheer you on when you give it your best shot to get that spoon from the plate to your mouths, and that you know how it feels to be loved unconditionally.

The day we brought The KRaZe home

So here's to you Mom and all the wonderful Mom's out there that just love your babies and are giving it your best shot.  

My favorite line: "What if I told you there is someone that actually... currently... holds this position right now... billions of people actually... MOMS."

I'd love some comments below on your fondest memories of your mom and/or of being a mom!

30 More Years Please!

As I had Zach, my husband, proofread my first blog post, he said, "O no... don't write about me... leave me out of it!"  We're also talking about the person that would literally be angry if I told the waiter at the restaurant it was his birthday... "Just another day" he says. 

Well, sorry love... it's not just another day to me.  If it weren't for this day 30 years ago, I would not be who I am today & would most definitely not have the joy within me that gives me purpose.

I wrote Zach a letter and snuck it into his carry-on before he left today, because a card just wasn't enough this year.  I thought I'd share a bit of it here - not to be sappy (from someone who does not partake in PDA - just sayin') so don't roll your eyes or gag for that matter - but to celebrate love. It's something worth celebrating! So I am celebrating... our love and you my love...

First, you are loved... beyond measure.  Literally, there is no way to count or weigh my love for you and what you mean to our little family.  Life is hard, but it's on our toughest days that I want you to know how loved you are.  Yes, we count on you, but that's not meant to put pressure on you - it's because you're worth counting on.  You have 3 girls in your corner who believe in you.  Not everyone has that.

Second, thank you for loving me.  I know in the midst of the daily demands, I fall under pressure and am not the epitome of a loving, patient, supportive, optimistic wife, but please know I want to be... all the time.  I am so humbled in thankfulness when I try to take in how much you love and accept me anyway.

All that said, I want to take this moment (your birthday) to celebrate you.                                        You have graced this world for 30 now and it's a better place for it...                                                You have blessed my life for over 10 years now & I am better for it.  When I think about the way we went from being two kids in love to becoming a family, I just love this life we've created together! 

Circa 2006 - One day I WILL find a photo from the beginning - 12/2003

12.3.08 - Once Like A Spark Photography

9.12.09 - Robby Followell Fotography

2012 - 6 months pregnant with our girls - Basically had to include my oldest child, Diesel

10.23.2013 - Once like A Spark Photography

You are an amazing Daddy - Man! Those little girls are definitely better because of you!  Especially if they get your sense of humor! ;) They get to see what true love is because of what we have - it's good for them to see us struggle, to watch how we persevere. 

Today is for you - a really awesome person - for the things you've done & what's still to come - for how hard you work & how much you care - for all that you are & all that you do... "I love you through and through".

Love always,

Your wife

Here's to the next 30 years together... God only knows what my letter will say then, but I know it'll be an amazing story with a happy ending!